The Worst Part of Any Business…

I’m getting out of customer service… sort of…

Wall Street Playboys hate what I do… 

And so do I. At least by their definition.

They said in a recent tweet that customer service is “the worst part of any business.”

They go on to complain about ridiculous returns, annoying questions, and bottom feeding.

And I know where they’re coming from. When I first took over customer service for James Altucher a few years ago, I dealt with exactly the same thing, but on a MUCH larger scale.

I have no idea how many customers Wall Street Playboys have. I like their tweets, and  I know they at least sell some books, but Altucher had tens of thousands of paying customers, and to put it kindly, many of them came from… less sophisticated lists.

Couple that with James’ habit of writing about suicide, failure, rejection, and his own embarrassing life experiences, and you can imagine some of the emails we got from people.

It wasn’t all that, but there was a LOT of customer communication. And I stepped in, with very limited customer service experience, to “handle it.”

The only problem with that…

It was an endless, Sisyphean task. 

Like pushing a big rock uphill, for those who don’t feel like Googling Sisyphean.

I was in exactly the same position the Wall Street Playboys are talking about. 

But “outsourcing it” wasn’t an option, and this is where their suggestion breaks down. We had already outsourced it. But someone still had to run things.

And just dumping a load of problems on someone else doesn’t work. Not if the outsourced reps have to ask you constant questions about how to defeat, I mean “handle” these bottom feeders.

Managing outsourcers, if you do things wrong before that, can be more difficult, stressful, and time consuming that just handling the damn customers.

I had to do something different. 

And over time, I figured this thing out.

That’s where I am right now. I know how to get it right. I’ve tested it at multiple businesses. It works.

But the brand “customer service” has been so thoroughly abused by big, conventional businesses that it can no longer be salvaged. 

And “what I do” goes well beyond mere customer service. Done right, it drastically reduces the amount of actual “customer service” that you need to administer.

It owns customer service. If necessary, it handles customer service. But before that, it strives to make sure most customer service interactions never have to happen.

This comes from preventing problems before they happen. Making sure things work (you’d be surprised how often people don’t do this.) Making sure everything is as clear as it needs to be.

But it also comes from simple things, as small as how you word your refund/cancellation period. Many businesses almost BEG their customers to cancel, and frame (gasp!) actually keeping the service or product as some highly unlikely last resort. I get that this can increase sales, and some people forget to cancel, but I find it better to balance it with a bit of pre-retention. (Pre-tention? Am I being pretentious?)

I can explain it in a few paragraphs, but I need to be able to explain in in a few words. That’s what I’m working on now, and when I get it, it will make it a lot more accessible to “the general public.”

Customer service is broken.

I’ve worked for a while on spreading my ideas, and getting them in front of people. I’ve met with one main problem.

Customer service is a BORING topic. 

Businesses see it as a necessary evil, a cost center.  It doesn’t have to be. 

They see it as a low value, low status for people who don’t understand business. Treat it this way at your peril. 

They think of it as a commodity, something that can only be done one (terrible) way. They’re missing a big opportunity. 

I’m no branding expert. No PR specialist. But at this point, I don’t think anyone can save the reputation of Customer Service.

Time to move beyond it. Above it. Create a new thing.

Prevent all “customer service” possible, and make sure what’s still necessary gets handled right.

Keep things simple, remember that customer service, and everything else that goes along with it, is there to generate MORE revenue, not take away from it.

Wall Street Playboys are right… OUTSOURCE IT!

But make sure that whoever is leading your outsourcers is doing it the right way. Otherwise you’ll just be paying a lot more to offload the same problems to someone else. 

And you’ll be leaving a lot of money, customer referrals, and reputation on the table.

And if you need some help with this stuff, contact me.

–Mark